Tag: poezie

I wish

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I wish someone would love me. I wish someone saw something more than trouble in my story. I wish someone took a chance because not everything is as it seems. I wish someone wouldn’t discourage my ruthless actions but would join me. I wish someone would accept the fact that we won’t always be together. I wish someone was there for me the way I needed them to. I wish someone would hold my hand in the dark. I wish someone would sing along with my favorite songs. I wish someone would take me to parties and share drinks. I wish for so many things, for someone to experience life with.

I wish that I’d love myself more.
I do, but I wish it was enough.

10 things I should remember

Josephine1 Comment

I stopped being sad about you for various reasons. 1. It isn’t going to bring you back and I know that. 2. It only affects me, in no way it will negatively affect you. 3. You fucking left and I don’t want to miss people who leave me. If I don’t deserve their time they don’t deserve mine. 4. You fucking left. 5. You loved how spontaneous and full of life I was, and I am going to be that person again. If you see me I will be the person you fell in love with. 6. I want to be who I was before I met you. 7. Crying is only healthy to a certain degree, I don’t want to bring myself in more pain then necessary. 8. I’m starting to realize that I shouldn’t have forgiven you for all the bad things you did, things I didn’t notice because I was blinded with love. 9. You aren’t as perfect as you seemed. You are far from perfect and therefore you aren’t worth chasing. 10. I want to live for me and only me. I don’t want to live for you anymore, I am not your girl.

– words

JosephineLeave a comment

I’ve seen riverbeds and lake sunsets in your eyes.
It looks like someone caught the sunlight in your hair,
you move with the slightest effort.
And when you look back, and you glance, it seems like everything seems to stop for a brief moment.
What I’m trying to tell you is that beautiful wouldn’t suit you.
You have loved and been loved by god, and there are angels locked in your ribcage

– words I shouldn’t make public

Side

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And you never asked me. You just told me to stay awake. And I hadn’t quite figured out why I had to, and why I did it. The day evolved into the rising morning in which we always embrace the dark. At midday, we had already met. I saw you in the corner of my eye, you were passing the hallways in such haste that you didn’t notice me. I watched the silhouette of what had to be you. And I watched the door open en close. I watched at the spot where you just went, and where you just disappeared. It meant entirely nothing, but I glanced into the hallway beside me. It occured to me that we never cross ways, we had never clashed into each others figure. We somehow always moved side by side, it could have been an inch, it could have been outside out comfort zone, but it never was close enough. It was save, risky and defiant.

It wouldnt be long before you were in sight again. But always alongsides, and never up front.

Myself

JosephineLeave a comment

I learned that there is nothing wrong with living for yourself. I learned that there is nothing wrong with being alone. I learned that time taught me to be strong, solid as rocks. I wake up every morning without flashbacks of my old heartbroken dreams. I dress up to feel good, and to look good in the mirror. I walk out the door without heading to past lovers or friends who got lost in the fight. I keep my head high and my vision clear. Dear god I knew we went through a lot. I know that days we’re so bad we didn’t live them. But I recovered and found my grip on life again, I formed missteps into chords and emotions into art. I know that my mind still remembers how dark the black was, and how beaten my body was. But I also know how to keep it going. How to let it flow like scraping rivers and robust red blood. How to defend my rights and how to barricade the voices. Oh those voices in my head. But I learned to be fluent and blazing brilliant. I tell myself to live for myself.

your shout was so deafening 

Number 200

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I was overthinking

I couldn’t find a way to express my feelings,
There were exiting incidents and terrible tragedies,
And I started writing, line by line
Expressing my thoughts, one by one
Growing with clarity, step by step
I was writing about time past
and time future, within a world of speculation
But within thousands of words
we never found time present
Sentences full of doubt and abstraction
Writing the words on time present
had never been the barrier
It was realizing, that we had never known
It was scratchings in the table
and phonenumbers on the wall
It was photos ripped in half
and memo’s gone missing
It was dirty footsteps
and a screaming mind
It was holding hands
and always letting go
It was never sparkling and pretty
and still it was so intriguing
It was love and pain
and battle-scars on the field
It was empty cold beds
and broken bones
It was finally finding home
and leaving everything behind
It was never that easy
and we never were prepared
We will find our way,
Until then,

I am overthinking
I speak for what I am,
I am the overthinking