Tag: love

24th of april

JosephineLeave a comment

Today is the last day. Today could have been a turning point. Today could have been the day in which we’d smile at each other from across the table, but you weren’t even there. Instead, you were nowhere to be found. I lost you along the way. I know I did and I’m well aware of the fact that it is never going to change. Everything I thought I knew about you ends today, tomorrow I’ll have nothing left. But that’s a good thing, I’ve held on for too long.

Today should have been our happy day, but I found myself sitting in front of the fire place, wondering what happened.

Calm

JosephineLeave a comment

‘Take it easy little girl, wipe your tears away’
‘Take it slowly, don’t pressure yourself that much’
‘I think you should do that tomorrow, it will be a brand new day’
‘You there, don’t be so upset and stop blaming yourself for everything’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll come and pick you up’
‘Just stay calm okay’

There might be a thousand ways to love you. But the way that you held my hand whilst walking down the street, that is how I loved you. You were fucking there for me and you were tender as cherrytrees. You were wise and I adored you for being smart and thoughtful. I loved the way that you caressed my golden hair and stroked your hand upon my cheek. I thought that you would make me a better person.

You always told me to stay calm, and so I did. I patiently waited for you to come home, but it’s taking you so long. I waited for you to return my letters and I ended up blaming the mailman. I waited for you to explain to me what was happening and you left me in great confusion. I waited on you, like the calm before the storm. I waited for you to come pick me up, but you never came.

I waited for you to come pick me up, but you never came. I stayed calm, you taught me that. I stayed calm, serene, silent, dying actually, waiting for you to come pick me up.

 

about him;

JosephineLeave a comment

And he said it had always felt like more then friendship. He said that he had loved me from the moment we met. That night he drank until his legs couldn’t carry his heavy heart anymore. I got dragged out of his sight, and I cried. I cried because I knew how it must have felt. I cried because I know that I couldn’t force myself to love him back. Love can’t be forced. Love doesn’t listen.

despise

Josephine1 Comment

As much as I write about how breathtakingly gorgeous our young love was, I despise the person you are, or who you try to be. I’m willing to believe that this is some act, some role-play and that you’ll admit it was a stupid joke. I despise the way that you neglected all of my affection towards you, even though you couldn’t stop talking to me. You didn’t ‘just’ leave, you shook the ground and earth to make it look like I made you leave. You turned the tables to set yourself free from the guilt that stroke upon you. I recognize you in the bitterness of my morning coffee, the one that looked so good. Cause that’s the whole point isn’t it? You made it look so fucking good. You made it look like I meant something to you, whilst you we’re just messing around. As a bored child you looked for something entertaining in that rotting life of yours. You rot with al the compost of dying flowers, the ones that ‘they’ gave you, your lovers. Your heart must be deteriorating throwing lovers away as if they were skipping stones. Fine. End up alone. End up with a list of blocked numbers because you couldn’t handle talking it through. You were such a brave girl but dear god you knew how to ignore your problems. I still despise you for that.