‘Don’t panic’ I thought, as I rushed over the sidewalk onto the street, I ran, faster and faster, something was creeping upon me and I wanted to get rid of it, I wanted to escape the fear that hid in the rigdes of my shadow.
Tag: poetry
11th of May
I might be impatient but I’m just very exited. I wish for time to go faster whilst waiting and slower when experiencing. But I dont need to run, I dont need to rush. I keep my options open and my horizon wide. I’m way to young to be in a hurry. We’re only getting started.
it’s been a while
I’m only just realizing how hard it must be to have read all of those words. All the words I wrote about how much I missed to be with you and how I blamed you for leaving. I know that you never had the intention to hurt me but you did, indirectly. I didn’t like the way my days were going or how I was forced to spend my time on the things I hated most. You didn’t knew that problem, you seemed happy and calm and you enjoyed life way more than I did. Spending time with you and sharing moments made it better for me. You were living proof that things would get better, and they did. I was redeemed for everything I had done, people forgave me for what I had done, I booked more vacations and read more books. I met new people and found love, love in all its ways and forms. But most important, I learned how to live without the idea of you being there for me. I stood on my own.
Yesterday evening I wondered through the city where you worked. The one place were I could always find you. You weren’t there, I knew that. But I didn’t visit to find you. I visited because I wanted to and I wouldnt be limited with the posibility of seeing you again. I woundn’t mind seeing you again, and I wouldn’t mind never seeing you again, because I’ll remember the way you looked, because I wrote so much about you.
It has been a while
#85
I held on ’till may
after all pt 2
I’d like to kindly thank you for being there for me when I needed somebody. I needed someone to talk to, no-one in particular. I’d want to thank you for all the times you’d make me laugh, but I’m easy to please, I have a bad sense of humor. I’d like to thank you for convincing me that love still exists, but I secretly knew that all along. I’d like to thank you for showing me bits of the world that I don’t know off, but they were cliché, and nothing extraordinary. I’d like to thank you for sharing your silent secrets, I’ll keep them with the others. I’d like to thank you, but it’s time for me to go. This wasn’t what I was looking for, after all.
#84
I’m scared I might want to fall in love with you because I’ll make me forget about her.
after all
His mother can make him cry and his little brother will always be little. He seems strong but even his bones were broken one by one. He can’t sing but remembers the words from my funeral speech. He is different, but I recognize parts of me in him. He talks to others but still pays his own drinks. He shows me his secrets and locks them away again. He tells me everything and nothing at all. He is rare and new but feels like home. He falls in but never out if love. He thought he wasn’t much but he was, after all.
The overthinking 