And he was like no other, he had watermelon cheeks from the paradise written upon his skin. The worlds flowed from his lips into the room as if he was born with Gods vocabulary. He looked at me, he observed me as if I was a formula he needed to remember. When I looked back he didn’t flinch, the world was upon his feet and he’d never be bothered. He tucked his hair behind his ear with his porcelain hands. Hands who held pencils for hours to draw lines with the perfection of ice crystals. With the policy of polite placement he filled all the grooves with the black pencil he held, he held it in his porcelain hands. They were easy to break, he was easy to break, never socialize with the gracious, they will put the magenta in your eyes and their art in your heart.
Tag: quote
#74
I hope that in a year from now I will write about ‘how I finally understand’, but honestly I don’t think I ever fucking will understand why you left.
Sunshine in May
People forgot how the colour yellow looked. The clouds we’re drawn into the sky with permanent marker. The rain fell down as if gravity was the only force on earth. The winter expired into a feast of cold and grey. We had no choice. We didn’t have anything to say, until the first day of sunshine in May.
#73
Somewhere ahead of us, is a day, a certain pinpoint, where I won’t think of you, negative of positive. I can not know when that will be, because at the moment my name is a series of past lovers who are written all over my identity.
#72
My writings have made people cry and have scared people to the bone.
That is why I’m more likely to end with – anonymous, and when people ask me what’s in that black moleskine book I say ‘nothing’ and hope they forget about it.
I was told – pt 2
We all know the empty space left in our beds feels like a black hole. But maybe there are galaxies on the other side, and maybe you will find peace with the fact that she left if you roll over. What if she wanted you to have more space to be free and to expand your dreamworld. If anything she never wanted you to feel like this. You were good enough and you deserve to be happy. Stop beating yourself up for all the little things that you might have done wrong, or all the words that you never said to her. You cant blame yourself for her decision, even when she admits to be wrong. I was told to never chase a girl, so you should let her run. Try to accept that she will not come back to you, and no nothing will ever be the same. And frozen days will be harsh without her presence in the cold wintermornings, and even this spring you’ll realize that you are still a bit lost. But time will pass and lonely mornings will end and this summer you will learn to be free again. I was told to always fight for love. Dont fight for a runner, fight for keeper. Fight for loving yourself again.
He showed me love
I was back. I came back to be the person I wanted to be. And you were waiting for me like nothing had happened. We had drifted apart and clutched onto each other, but it was never harsh. We had never spoke, we had never blamed each other for leaving.
After I came back you still drank red wine, while I was still drinking white wine. We laughed and acknowledged the silence. I couldn’t find you house because it didn’t feel like home to me. I knew where I belonged. You held me in your arms and you touched me like the day that we first met.
We sat in the first winter cold and I dangled my shoes back and forth. You stared at yourself in the reflection of the backdoor. Your friends asked you about my presence, but you denied. You denied because we weren’t different with or without each other. We would always drink from our own bottle and come back to sit in the winter cold.
blondie pt 2.
The overthinking 