I choose love.

‘You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world.. but you do have some say in who hurts you.’
And I choose her. I didn’t even think twice, I choose her. I didn’t feel the need to question my choices, I never made rational choices, I simply decided. And so she did hurt me, and I gave her every right to. I let her in, I let her run into my arms. I let her touch my lips and let her breathe onto my bare skin. I never doubted anything, I’m all in or I’m all out. I will always give love a chance, because you can not fight it. Love made me smile for a month. Love made me giggle and stare into my screen for nights. And love made me cry, love made me question my existence without her. Love made my heart heavy with everything that reminded me of her. Love made me sad for a few weeks and dreadfully nostalgic for the months afterwards. I choose love and I chose her to hurt me. She held my heart and I was totally entitled to the way she sang my name. But she let go and now I mumble soothing words before I go to sleep. I was foolish, but I was madly in love with the one I choose, with her.

I really did miss you

Are there days of sadness for you?
The feeling that something is wrong,
your heart is missing out
Ripped out its cage
Leaving scars

Are there days of loneliness for you?
This aching feeling in your chest
that you are terribly alone
Accompanied by the rain
Pouring down

Are there days that you doubt it?
Letting me walk away from you
Knowing I wont be back
Going my own way
Separating love

And I ask myself these questions
Because with every inch of my heart
I hoped that you would
Be sad, feel lonely, doubt it
So I could share this feeling

Because I did
A lot.

<< I wrote this five weeks ago, I do not miss you, not anymore, you were so easily replaced, I do not need you<<