28th of July

​ It rained. It rained the entire day and the entire evening. I’ve spent the last two weeks fighting against the warmth outside, it had been sunny the whole time. 

I’m sitting on the front porch listening how the rain pours and how the sky trembles. I’m baring my knees against the cold and my heart beats slow. There isn’t anybody out on the streets tonight, the light are dimmed. I’ve been waiting for this moment. To sit on the front porch and to be silent. I’m processing the grief of this day and how I still haven’t forgotten about her. At this point I don’t believe I ever will. The thought about her still makes me sad and still makes me want to cry. But I didn’t cry and I wasn’t sad. I sat listening to the rain in ease, in silence. She chose not to be here. It hurts, but just a little. It hurts until it doesn’t. 

It rained. 

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