the least I could say pt 2

I’m still a bit lost on words. I don’t quite know how to describe you without doing you wrong. I still have some bad days, some darker moments. You still hold me when I’m at war with myself, you don’t try to fight it. You let me be, in silence. I think that letting each other be, is our strongest connection. Allowing someone to watch you at your weakest without handing them the power to fix you. Having faith in each others strength and having trust in letting our weakness shine trough. I adore you so much. I adore you when you’re strong, confident, when you speak with enthusiasm your eyes light up. You get comfortable so quick and you’re easy to like, I don’t blame them. I adore you when you’re at your weakest, you get surprised by your own feelings as you try to figure them out. I know you’re trying and stumbling but you’ve opened the gates to me, that’s all I could ask for. I adore you in the way you adore me. Because that’s what you do, you find good in anything. Your heart is so big and you let me hear it beat. You let me in. I adore you for that.



I’m going to sleep now, talk to you later – and before I could lock my phone your name popped up again. One missed call. Two missed calls. A message. The third time I picked up and she didn’t have much to say anymore. She cried for my help, ‘how do I open up to you, I want to be worth it’. Not realizing she already was, I wasn’t the one who’s voice was breaking from despair. So I listened to her explaining everything, how her brains works and why her hands shake. I listened and told her everything she already knew, but needed to hear again. I heard her laugh again and fell asleep on the phone, her silence accompanied by mine. 

hush, we all break sometimes

3:30 pt 2

Cause maybe we weren’t meant to burn. I find myself in the same bed with the same two hands holding me for warmth. They didnt shield me from this lingering feeling, you’re still on my mind. I’m not heartbroken, sad nor devistated. I just wish I had the guts to face you and the girl that makes you smile. I couldn’t and it makes me feel so weak. 

my hands were to small to hold you closer