I’m scared of heights but I took the fall. I ran through the forest at night to be in the valley by morning. It was so vivid, sprinkled with wildflowers and love-me-love-not’s. You gave me goosebumps although the sunrays warmed my skin. The horizon gloomed in the daylight, I wasn’t afraid to look forward anymore. I don’t want to look back on all the skipping stones on my path, I never knew how many days I had before they sank with me in the wishingwell. You took be my the hand and guided me, I closed my eyes. I trusted you to guide me home. I took steps and heartbeats and a leap of faith. The valley stretched for miles, there was enough space for you to find all the words I wrote about you. Read them. Let them sink in. Believe every word. Hold them close. Save them for later. Remind yourself you’re worth it. There is a place for you to be. There is a place for us to be, to grow, to nourish, to restore, to be held, to be better. Carry it in your heart. Let it take you higher.
I like you and I think that you should know that.
And then there are these moments,
where it all clicks,
and falls down to,
I laid my head on your chest and I felt it, this was enough
Tell me twice that you’re scared and I’ll hold you even closer. I know we’re on thin ice but darling it’s still freezing outside. I’m not going anywhere, you know where to find me. You don’t have to run, you’re safe with me. I won’t hurt you and I won’t let you go.
I found you in my dreams way before I found you in my arms. You’re not drifting, you’re only coming closer.
I’m still a bit lost on words. I don’t quite know how to describe you without doing you wrong. I still have some bad days, some darker moments. You still hold me when I’m at war with myself, you don’t try to fight it. You let me be, in silence. I think that letting each other be, is our strongest connection. Allowing someone to watch you at your weakest without handing them the power to fix you. Having faith in each others strength and having trust in letting our weakness shine trough. I adore you so much. I adore you when you’re strong, confident, when you speak with enthusiasm your eyes light up. You get comfortable so quick and you’re easy to like, I don’t blame them. I adore you when you’re at your weakest, you get surprised by your own feelings as you try to figure them out. I know you’re trying and stumbling but you’ve opened the gates to me, that’s all I could ask for. I adore you in the way you adore me. Because that’s what you do, you find good in anything. Your heart is so big and you let me hear it beat. You let me in. I adore you for that.
I’m going to sleep now, talk to you later – and before I could lock my phone your name popped up again. One missed call. Two missed calls. A message. The third time I picked up and she didn’t have much to say anymore. She cried for my help, ‘how do I open up to you, I want to be worth it’. Not realizing she already was, I wasn’t the one who’s voice was breaking from despair. So I listened to her explaining everything, how her brains works and why her hands shake. I listened and told her everything she already knew, but needed to hear again. I heard her laugh again and fell asleep on the phone, her silence accompanied by mine.
hush, we all break sometimes