It was storming outside when our summer love came to an end. I remember that he didn’t knew how to feel, anger and sadness were mixed like the coffee and cream in my cappuccino. I cradled my knees against my chest and watched the storm pass by. I broke a heart and so it hurt mine. I made mistakes, took a lot of wrong turns and got lost.
Soon I found my way out
I found myself
and I did it on my own
I learned how to be on my own. How to fight strong and recover. There wasn’t much I needed in life, I grew up to be independent. To know what is right and what is wrong. I moved along, I walked on my own. I walked and I walked and then I .. I stood still to look at you.
How it feels to do it all over again;
I squinted my eyes against the bright sunlight from behind the trees. People were chatting left and right, I could only pay attention to the person climbing on top of a picknick table to greet us. I have no idea what she was telling us. I was blinded by her and the way she moved and talk. I wanted to hear her talk all day long. I knew I liked her noise above all the other noise. She stood there watching us but she didn’t notice me. I felt the heat and my heart burn. I had to spend more time with her, I wanted to be all for her.
I greeted her multiple times when we crossed in the hallways. My heart would skip a beat. I wasn’t really in love, but I wanted to know so much more about the mystery in her eyes. I guess I wasn’t the only one. She was adored by many and had someone else by her side. I let them walk. I wanted them to.
I started walking again.
I started walking until we collided into each other and we were spinning circles around each other for the entire night. She held on to my hands and I clutched onto her arms. I wasn’t letting go now. I wasn’t going to walk away that easy this time. I saw stars in her eyes and I wanted to know where they came from.
She was magical. We watched the sun rise and fall into the horizon again. We never let go of each other since that first night. We looked at each other until we slowly started talking. I whispered to you that night – I think I might like you. And she smiled. She knew that her heart was pounding too. I became unbearable. We felt as if this was all we had been waiting for. As if our worlds were meant to collide.
We had sparks and butterflies and endless laughter. I had fears and worries but they faded when she held me close each night. I can never get used to waking up next to her every morning. I am priviledged to be in a dreamworld when I’m wide awake. One look and a kiss and I’m the happiest you’ll ever see me. Our best selves intertwined like mixed flowers in spring. Inspire, aspire, nourish and grow. Talk, laugh, scream and smile. Hug, kiss and love.
How it felt to do it all over again; I felt love pulsing through my body and it was all I ever needed. It felt real. I was blown away and back to the shore.
I’m in love, madly in love with her. I think I found the right words.
The overthinking 