21th

The one thing that scares me the most is that I’m ever to scared to cry in public places.

Whenever I hear ‘that’ song, the one that played at the funeral of my grandpa I want to cry, I have no need to scream, I just want to be comfortable enough to let tears stream down my face.

He never said goodbye, he left within a single minute. I never got to tell him all the things he would have liked to hear, I was only 17, he never saw me grow up to be a selfsupporting adult. My sister wasn’t there, she couldn’t make it and never had a change to mourn with us. My mother came home as soon as she could, be she would always be to late. My father cried a thousand days because he was the only father-figure he had known.

He never said goodbye, but we did, we weren’t give a choice. We watched the bouquets fall apart and made a habit of crying whenever we heard ‘that’ song.
this post has been a concept long enough, for my family who might read this, I miss him too