ze draait en ze
wentelt en
verzet zich
tegen het licht
van buiten
ze ligt en ze
woelt in haar
losse lakens
want ze wilt niet
stil liggen ze
wilt zweven in haar
dromen groots als
de meters matras
waar ze op rust
ze slaapt niet
maar ze rust
naast mij
in haar eigen

Letting go

Do you remember how it feels to be in love? I do. Love occurs when you distance from the one you love. You believe to need yourself but all you want is to be theirs. Set yourself apart and you will find them back. Love is complicated like that. We love the hardest when someone leaves. We let go of the hands that have carried us. We seek shelter in places that we didn’t used to call home. We romanticize insomnia because she lives in your dreams. We hold on tighter then before. We hold on to love. We hold on to falling in love all over again, as long as we don’t let go.

I’m scared to say pt 3

I can tell that you’re tired by the sound of your voice, but still you’re on the other side of the line listening to me.
I hope that you will always be on the other side of the line. I need you in this life of mine. I need you to be there for me, to listen when I dare to speak.
I have too much issues and too little time, but I keep on going, that is all I ever do. I haven’t been the easiest to handle, I’m sorry and I mean that.
I mean every word I say. It is rare for me to open up but you have to know what you mean to me. I had to. I think I could cry, but I appreciate you and you must never leave. I need you.

I will always listen, I will always care and be there when you need me.
Call ended.


I’m holding on to the things I loved most. There wasn’t much that I loved. It was all a fraud, a snapped bubble and all lies. I was surrounded by the wrong surroundings. But you still feel like how home felt – I haven’t been there for a while. 

I moved. 

Be at home with me


jouw armen
om mij heen
dichten de gaten
in mijn geheugen
van gisterenavond

laat mij nog
maar even liggen
want mijn was
is nog niet droog
laat mij liggen
tot ik weer
buiten durf te komen
lief het licht
is zo fel

omarm mijn
zwakke plekken
tot ze weer
geheeld zijn
want ik wil
heel veel zijn

maar lief het
licht is zo fel
en mijn schaduw
is verloren
en het
donker gebroken

lief hou je handen
voor mijn ogen
want ik ben
niet klaar
voor vandaag