You don’t understand how it feels to be so misunderstood. You don’t listen when I speak from the heart. So my words are left in the dark and it makes me wonder. It makes me wonder in silence while I can’t reach you.

I can’t reach you and you’re hurt. I wish to right my wrongs. To handle the situation but it’s bigger then I can carry. So I wait for you to come around, cause you always do.

We oversee the facts, apologize for the pain and try to right our wrongs. We question what to feel and how to act. To hurt in silence or to confront the pain underneath. To re-unite with words or to let ourselves heal alone. Cause lately love seems to hurt too often.

But after all, we still hold on to the brightest moments. We wish for more, expect there to be more. Not wanting to give up because the sparks light up the darkest days.

So we come back, sometimes fast, sometimes it takes a while. But we come back looking for more, cause your arms still feel like home to me.


‘Dit huis is toxic’ zei ik lachend, rondkijken naar de confetti op de vloer. Op het tafeltje voor me stonden lege en volle bierflesjes tussen een laag tabaksresten en vaat van vorige week.

En als straks iedereens kamer voor de laatste keer op slot word gedraaid zullen we terugkijken, en zuchten. Want we vonden troost bij elkaar, troost voor de schade die we zelf aanrichtten.

I’m scared to say, pt 4

I’m moving to the most beautiful city and all I can think about is running away from you. The prospect of leaving all our memories behind is calming. It eases my mind to know I can start again. So I won’t have to pass the places that we made memories, that we made our own.

And I want to move on cause I feel stupid for wanting you around. I feel dumb to desire your attention, but it was all I ever knew. I’m changing my habits and I’m changing myself for the better. Cause I value my own life and I look forward to the future, so it’s time to let go.

It’s time to let go and I know that, but when the sun sets I still think we could be friends and I wish it was real. When that song plays I want to let you know that I learned the chords. I learned the chords and I can play along, so I can leave all this behind.

And if I’m honest, I knew it was my fault for believing you cared. We never were friends if you left me like this.

I’m scared to say that I’m still looking for the answers in the pouring rain.


I started taking down the polaroids on the wall, removing our memories one by one.

Not because it’s painful to keep them up, but I’m finally ready to move on.

time together.

And maybe, all this time, it had never been me. It never mattered who stayed, but who knocked first. You reached out and I gripped your hands, you looked for comfort and I gave you warmth. You were longing not to be alone and I was too.

So maybe we have mistaken our time together for something special, while it wasn’t. That all this time, it was coincidence, and nothing truly mattered. I’m starting to believe that nothing truly mattered, while I wish that it did.

that one person

Sometimes you meet that one person that leaves you wandering where they have been all the time. They manage to find the right words, they give you advice you actually find to be helpful. They fit your needs, match your personality and share the desire for adventure. They become your friend, without ever doubting to expose yourself cause truth will find it’s way.

Sometimes you meet that one person that leaves you wandering where they have been all the time, and where they are now. Cause truth has found it’s way and it ain’t pretty.