my alcoholic astonishment
of backward brainwork
with characteristic coordination

take your daily drugs
with an extreme equal
of fulfilling fluids
for a greater glance
of hypnotic hallucinations

with our isolated ice-hart
we can’t justify judgement
those killing knives
and lingering letters
our mothers made
we can never neglect

our ordinary outside
and prentend posture
with a quiet quiver
of restless remorse

we sleep silently
and we’re terribly tired
which is an ugly understatement
of vulnerable visitors
of this worrying waitingroom
for an xtremely x-ray
of a youthful youngster
in her zombie zone

She noticed

‘Why are you so absent?’
‘Did you drink? It’s monday.. ‘
‘I thought you were sick, where were you today?

‘Am I the only one that noticed?’

You were.
I’m sorry girl,
But alcohol is an addiction
And it’s bloodshot behavior
So I crumble and collapse
And darkness is dominant
The eager is evident
To flee and forget
to go and be gone
because all this hatred and horror
makes me want to isolate from it all
don’t make me justify, and just
let me be in a killing kingdom
I will listen to this luminous
make-belief mystery solution
to escape this nuclear nightmare
didn’t we all overdose once
it’s just a poetic poison
can you refine reckless
someday I’ll be sober
just not today or tomorrow
for now it’s unknown and unthinkable
and very hard to visualize
just wait and witness