the wall/ forward

I got up,
turned around,
focused,

    I took a step,
    followed by another,
    slowly

I moved through to room,
finding the strength,
not to fall

    I still hadn’t eaten,
    my shaking hands,
    losing touch

I wanted to fall,
crash into the carpet,
downwards

    Maybe someone would notice,
    that I wasn’t okay,
    far from

I leaned to the wall,
searched for balance,
stood still

    I was exhausted,
    out of breath,
    tired

I didn’t fall
I didn’t let myself fall

I would not fall before I have started
the horizon was still in sight

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