She smiled,
raised her glass,
and said
‘happy new year’
But my shout in the void
was not so honest as it may have sounded
I still remember those sleepless nights
And breaking voice when I was shaking
Of complete anger and disguise
I told myself to believe in beginnings
Just like the moon always returns
Even if he died every month
I was jealous of his light
Which I lost throughout the seasons